Freedom In Forgiveness

The Best Gift to Give Yourself

We need to stop living in the past replaying old hurts and trauma. This keeps us from truly living in the present and finding our true potential. Anger, pain, fear, shame, guilt and sadness are like mini prisons that we allow ourselves to be kept in. We do not realize that we have the power to break free from such things. We have a choice to harbor those emotions and stunt our emotional growth, or to forgive and quit allowing the abuser to live rent free in our heads… When we let them stay there we give them permission to be the warden of our own personal prison. I ask you, who is benefitting from your pain? Nine times out of ten the abuser has selected to not remember what they did or even care that they caused you any harm.

My mother threw me out on my 15th birthday, because I went to a bible study with her sister. Being I didn’t want to awaken anyone I stayed the night with my Aunt. At the time, we lived in a trailer park. My Aunt’s trailer was about 5 feet from our own. My mom went off on me the next day about how I apparently think I am better than everyone else. You know, because I went to church and got good grades at school etc. If I were so smart then lets see how well I do on my own. She threw my things out into the snow. My Aunt, her sister, tried to talk to her, but my mom was not going to listen. For the past 40 plus years, when this is brought up to my mother, she says: “Well, if that really did happen then I am sorry. But, I don’t remember any such thing!” This is a deflection and certainly not an apology. I spent many years trying to win my families affection and to show them I was worthy of their love. Constantly batted down and aside. Constantly having my heart ripped out of my chest. For far too long I thought I could change their hearts if I could only be better or do more. It never mattered what I did. Nothing was ever going to change how they felt for me. I had to accept that. It was a painful revelation. They were not going to admit what they did to me or feel sorry for any of it. I had to accept there would be no closure. It hurt me deeply.

Forgiveness was the ‘freedom factor’ I needed to reconcile within myself. What is forgiveness? It does not mean you condone the actions of the one who harmed you. Instead it is releasing the control and power that the offending person and situation has had in your life. It is realizing that you are the only one still suffering over what had happened. You are holding yourself captive. The abuser does not spend one minute worrying about you. You spend years torturing yourself though. Forgiveness is setting yourself free. It is a gift you give yourself. It is saying I will no longer allow this to take up residence within my heart any longer. Forgiveness opens the door for you to experience peace. Hanging onto the pain only harms you. Years of this can actually cause physical illness within your body. Not just emotional illness, such as PTSD, depression, anxiety, insomnia…. but physical ones as well. Frequent headaches. Autoimmune issues like arthritis, (IBS) Irritable Bowel Syndrome and other GI issues. There are links to Obesity, heart attacks and strokes, Diabetes and even cancer over the long term trauma and its toll upon a survivor. Some studies show an increase in Fibromyalgia in people who suffered severe trauma as a child. Especially those who survived childhood traumas. This is why it is important to learn to forgive and let it go.

On our show Monday night, Keep Calm ~ The Best Is Yet To Come, with Dr. Z, TheBritishAmericanPatriot, Grow Wizzard and myself, we talked about Dr. Emoto and the tests with water and emotion. Our bodies are made up of a lot of water. (Funny, when I was in Nursing school many years ago, I could swear we were taught it was about 90% water but everything I find now says 60%) Yet when you break it down into body anatomy… Lungs 80%, Brain 80-85%, Kidneys 80-85% etc. seems that they are basically fibbing about water being 60% of our body… but then again, they have changed so many meanings and medical jargon since 2020. But, I digress.) Anyway, Dr, Emoto showed his water crystal experiments consisted of exposing water in glasses to various words, pictures, or music, then freezing it and examining the ice crystals' aesthetic properties with microscopic photography. The results were astounding.

So, in hindsight, the fact that I am disabled after so many years of trauma makes a great deal of sense to me now. The combination of broken bones from abuse with the emotional trauma that stayed with me for so many years has caused my bones to break down with severe arthritis. I also have Fibromyalgia and diet controlled Diabetes. If I had healed the emotional trauma many years earlier, would it have lessened these physical disabilities? I have no idea. I have been abused for about 90% of my life. I cannot go back and redo anything. I learned the hard way how to heal and come to forgiveness. I only hope and pray that I can get you to learn through me instead of suffering for as long as I did.

If positive sounds, music and phrases could change the molecular structure of ice crystals to beautiful patterns then it would stand to reason that we DO have the ability to heal ourselves through positivity. What amazing creatures we are with so much potential!! We are wonderfully created by God. The enemy does not wish us to know our true powers. If we can create healing through positive vibes and frequency, what else are we capable of? Telepathy? I had the ability with a few souls over the years. Astral Travel/Projection ~ out of body experiences? I have heard many who have experienced such a thing. The fact is we are more powerful than the evil ones. We just need to embrace it. Collectively we could annihilate them with our powers of the LOVE vibration… prayers and meditation. If we only knew our strength. We need teachers. The ascension process that many say is incoming, may be the process by which such information comes to the right souls who can teach such things.

Some have been trying to teach the LOVE vibration and frequency over the years. Grow Wizzard always says to: “Walk your day in love.” We all have talked about the Armor of God and the need to put that on daily.

Everything we each battle with everyday is an attack from the enemy to hold us prisoner. When I made the decision to tell my story here on substacks, what I did was allow myself to break free. Nothing can be held over my head and there is no secret shame and guilt I harbor within me any longer. There is no weapon formed against me that shall prosper in Jesus name! The power to heal is within each of us!! Connect with your Creator and spark that ‘Christ Consciousness’ and find the beauty of freedom, of peace and the calm within the storm. Once you experience it, please pass the knowledge forward. Be a being of light and love. Light your candle and become a lighthouse for others to heal and find safe harbor. Teach them about God and the LOVE that we possess within our hearts. Protect the heart of humanity. Call out the liars who seek to destroy and slow down the progress of our truth. ( You can do this in a loving manner, they will not like it though )

Do your best to love each other.

John 13: 34-35

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Do your best to promote peace. Be the change you wish to see in others. Keep your eyes focused upon love and God above… we will get through the storms. There are 365 verses in the Bible that say: “Do not fear”, it is all about faith. Be a friend to those in need. Walk away from those who promote the seeds of the enemy, such as: fear, anger, depression, anxiety and any negativity. Every day we are met with choices…. we have the chance to change our story…. we have the chance to impact others in a positive way… Be a lighthouse not a destroyer.

I leave you with my love, as always. My prayers are with you also. God be with you and protect you and yours…